Rough Wolf: A BBW Shifter Paranormal Romance Read online

  I nodded, but I was still unsure. He was so stunning. It just didn’t seem possible that he could be so attracted to me. I had very little self-esteem, but even if I’d had the lion’s share of it, I still would have had trouble understanding this.

  He lifted my chin with a finger and forced me to make eye contact. His blue eyes flitted back and forth, and I could have sworn I could see the flame for me dancing inside them as he seemed to study every feature of my face.

  “I know that humans don’t have the same senses we wolves do,” he told me. “I know you can’t develop a bond with me overnight. Humans don’t work that way, because you don’t have the same senses we do. But wolves are different. Once they’ve chosen their mate, that’s it for life. And I have chosen you. In time, you will choose me, too. And I am here to care for you, love you, and please you in every possible way for as long as I live.”

  God, this was everything I’d ever dreamed of. Reading about this had not prepared me for the intensity of it all. This was real. It was jarring. It was passionate beyond anything I’d ever hoped to experience.

  This had awakened a passion in me that I had forgotten even existed. This burning, aching need to be wanted, to be desired, to be taken. I had long since forgotten I even wanted it, because I’d pushed those desires away, sure I would never experience any of them.

  “Your coffee is ready,” Geo commented.

  I hadn’t even noticed. The scent of the coffee, usually the only thing I paid attention to early in the mornings, had barely even registered.

  I turned to grab my favorite mug and I filled it nearly a quarter of the way up the sides with powdered French Vanilla creamer and a spoonful of sugar. Then I poured coffee over the top and stirred it. I lifted the cup to my nose and inhaled deeply.

  “You’re welcome to have some with me,” I told him.

  “Don’t mind if I do,” he said, grabbing a mug from the cabinet.

  He made his coffee exactly the way I made mine, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he made his own that way regularly or if he just followed my lead.

  I sat at the table and sipped the hot liquid, savoring the flavor, the warmth, and the familiar comfort. He soon joined me, and we drank coffee together in silence.

  “I like this,” he said, breaking the quiet moment.

  “What? The coffee?” I asked.

  “Well, that, too,” he answered. “But I meant this moment. It feels natural. I feel like we’ve done this a thousand times before.”

  Oddly enough, I had begun to feel the same way. Sitting at the table sipping coffee with him felt so strangely familiar. I had never been one to believe in fate, but this was too unusual to ignore.

  I said nothing, silently mulling over the situation as I continued sipping my coffee. My stomach rumbled again, and Geo set his cup down and stood, entering the kitchen.

  “What would you like for breakfast?” he asked.

  “Oh, goodness, you don’t have to cook for me!” I called to him.

  “I asked what you would like for breakfast,” he said.

  “I was just wishing I had cinnamon rolls,” I admitted. “But I really don’t feel like cooking.”

  “Assuming you have the required ingredients, I can make them for you,” he said.

  “You know how to bake cinnamon rolls?” I asked.

  “I know how to make a lot of things,” he said, shooting me a glance that felt provocative. He grinned wickedly.

  I cleared my throat and shifted in my chair, and I heard him chuckle as he began rifling through my cabinets and refrigerator, gathering ingredients and equipment.

  “You really don’t have to do this,” I told him.

  “It’s my pleasure,” he said.

  I shrugged, too hungry to argue anymore. I could already smell the heavenly scent of cinnamon rolls in my mind, and he’d only just set the oven to preheat.

  Wow, this man was not only gorgeous and well-mannered, he could apparently cook, too. Could I get any luckier?

  Then I suddenly flushed, wondering what he was like in bed. If he was as wonderful in bed as he was out of it…

  “What’s got you so excited?” he called to me.

  My face burned even hotter, realizing he could smell my arousal as I pondered his sexual prowess.

  “There’s just something so sexy about a man who can cook,” I lied.

  I heard him snicker, and I wondered if he believed my little fib or if he was just playing along.

  Pans clattered and banged together, and the scent of cinnamon wafted over to the table as he began to mix ingredients. I couldn’t see everything he was doing, as my view was partially obstructed by the high bar between the kitchen and dining area, but I could see that he was hard at work.

  I watched the way his muscles rippled under his shirt as he swayed back and forth, reaching for ingredients. He must have started rolling the dough, because I could see him rocking forward and back, his arms moving in a distinct rhythm.

  My mouth was watering, but it was more from desire for Geo than the cinnamon rolls. I couldn’t take my eyes off his muscular back, and I was picturing ripping his t-shirt to shreds.

  He finally opened the oven door and leaned over to put a pan inside it. Then he popped up with a broad smile on his face, and I shivered.

  “Twenty minutes, beautiful,” he beamed proudly. “Let me get these dishes washed.”

  “No, you don’t have to do that!” I argued, jumping to my feet and dashing into the kitchen. “Really, you’ve done enough. Let me do these.”

  I grabbed a mixing bowl and plunked it into the sink, turning on the water and beginning to fill the bowl. But he gently nudged me to the side and said, “I’ve got it, really. You just go relax.”

  I opened my mouth to argue, but he pressed two fingers against my lips to silence me. I sighed and nodded, reluctantly leaving the kitchen so he could clean up.

  “I’m going to take a quick shower,” I told him. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  “Enjoy, gorgeous,” he said, turning to wink at me.

  At least I finally had the opportunity to make myself more presentable. It was hard enough to believe this man could be attracted to me at my best, but with morning breath and… I gasped at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was a rat’s nest, with tangles pulling half my hair upward into an awkward, frizzy bunch. Dark circles ringed my eyes due to my lack of sleep, and I looked like death warmed over. I plucked an orange leaf from my hair, where it had apparently become trapped the night before.

  “Oh, god, it’s a wonder he didn’t run away screaming,” I muttered to myself.

  I shrugged out of my clothes and stepped into the shower. I shaved every inch of myself, even neatening my nether region. I washed my hair twice and slathered on more conditioner than I’d ever used. Then I applied lotion and perfume. Finally, I ran a brush through the wild snarls of my hair.

  I still looked pretty foul. There was nothing I could do about the circles under my eyes, and I really didn’t feel like putting on makeup so early in the morning.

  I chose a sexy matching bra and panties set that I’d ordered online years ago and had never worn. Then I poured myself into my favorite jeans, which were two sizes too small but always managed to make my butt look pretty hot. Finally, I threw a baggy sweater over everything, hoping to disguise my ample waistline a bit.

  One last glance in the mirror and I shrugged and opened the bedroom door to the luscious scent of cinnamon and vanilla. He’d placed the rolls on a tray and set them in the center of the table. He’d even poured me a fresh cup of coffee.

  “I hope you’re hungry,” he said with a smile.

  He pulled a chair back for me, and I sat down. He pushed the chair in, and I reached over and plucked a cinnamon roll off the tray and set it on the plate in front of me.

  Geo sat across from me and took a roll for himself. Then he lifted it to his mouth and took a huge bite. Taking a cue from him, I also ate mine with my hands instead of the
fork and knife he’d brought for me.

  My teeth sank into the pillowy softness, and my senses were all assaulted at once. It was the softest, fluffiest cinnamon roll I’d ever had. It was sweet, but not too sweet, and oozing with shiny vanilla frosting melting over the edges and flaky layers of buttery dough.

  “This is incredible,” I said, ignoring the fact that my mouth was full.

  “Not as incredible as you,” he said.

  Once again, I blushed. He sure had a way of doing that to me.

  “Where’d you learn to cook like this?” I asked him.

  “I actually grew up in a human family,” he answered. “My adoptive mother died when I was quite young, so I had to cook for my two younger siblings while my father was at work, which he usually was working long hours for the police department. I can make nearly anything now. I enjoy it.”

  “I’m sorry to hear about your mother,” I told him. “How did you end up with a human family?”

  “My wolf parents were killed by hunters when I was just a pup,” he said. “I never even knew them. Because my father was Alpha, his brother was afraid some of the other pack members would try to kill me in order to take my rightful position before I was old enough to defend it, and so he took me to a human family and asked them to care for me.”

  “Wow, that’s terrible,” I said quietly. “You’ve had a really hard life.”

  “My adoptive father was great,” he said. “He always told me where I came from, and never kept my history a secret. And he told me that when I was ready, I’d go back to my pack and take my place as Alpha. So one day when I was sixteen, I had an overwhelming urge to go camping. I didn’t understand why at the time, but I happened to choose the exact territory of my pack, and my uncle scented me. He came to find me and took me back to the pack, and the rest, as they say, is history.”

  “So they just accepted you as Alpha? Just like that?” I asked.

  “They did,” he said. “I have been challenged once, and only once. And I took care of that so swiftly that no one else has dared to try.”

  I shivered, licking a bit of icing away from the corner of my mouth. It was incredibly sexy to think of this powerful man being the Alpha of his pack. I felt the heat rising between my legs again.

  He sniffed the air, and I knew he smelled my arousal. This time, I didn’t flush with embarrassment. I was actually glad he could tell how excited I was becoming.

  “What about you?” he asked. “What was your family life like?”

  I shrugged and said, “There’s not much to tell, really. My mother was always very critical of my weight, and my father left us when I was in kindergarten. I haven’t seen him since. And I don’t really speak to her anymore, either. I just got tired of hearing her constant insults. When I graduated high school she moved on from my weight to criticizing my job, my apartment, my friends… you name it, she complained about it.”

  “So you don’t have any family?” he asked.

  “None to speak of,” I said. “I mean, I email my aunt Peggy now and then. Other than that, I don’t have anyone. This cabin belongs to my grandparents, but I’m using my savings account to pay them rent.”

  “Well, now you do,” he told me. “You have me, and soon you’ll have the rest of the pack.”

  “Just like that?” I asked with a snap of my fingers.

  “Pretty much,” he said. “Once you accept me as your mate, I will take you to meet the rest of my pack. I know they will love you as much as…”

  He stopped himself, and my heart skidded to a full stop. Was he suddenly realizing he didn’t love me?

  “What?” I urged him. If he was about to hurt me, I’d rather him just get it over with before I got even more attached.

  “As much as I do,” he finished the sentence.

  “So why’d you stop in the middle of your sentence?” I challenged him. I was certain he was going to say he had to think about it, or he wasn’t sure.

  “Because I didn’t want to frighten you off,” he said. “I know humans typically need time to acclimate to new relationships.”

  “What if I’m not like other humans?” I asked him. “What if I don’t work that way?”

  “Are you… are you telling me you might…”

  “I know this sounds crazy, but… you know you were mentioning earlier how you that this just feels so natural? I feel the same way,” I blurted out quickly. “I feel something for you. I don’t know if it’s love or lust, because I’ve never felt anything like this before. And I don’t want to lead you on or make you think I’ve fallen in love when I don’t even understand any of this myself. But…”

  Before I could finish my thought, he’d jumped from his chair and breached the distance between us. He took my face in his hands and silenced me with a firm kiss on my lips, and I took it to mean that he understood, and I didn’t need to keep chattering.

  I started to part my lips for a deeper kiss, but he pulled away, stepping back. He looked down at me as if he was feeling pain of some sort, and I was confused.

  “I can’t do this yet,” he said. “I just can’t.”

  “Why?” I asked, my stomach knotting until I nearly doubled over. It was if he’d just punched me in the gut.

  “The wolf wants out,” he growled, clutching the back of the chair beside me until his knuckles blanched white. “I can’t control it.”

  He dashed from the house, leaving the front door standing wide open. I rushed to the door, but he was nowhere in sight. Weakly, I sank to my knees in the doorway as tears began to sting my eyes.

  Had I said the wrong thing? Had I done something terribly wrong? I couldn’t understand. What had he meant by “the wolf wants out”?

  My mind was reeling, my stomach churning. I couldn’t even move. I was paralyzed. Would he ever come back? I had no idea how to find him. The forest was a very, very large place.

  CHAPTER THREE

  I tried to pull myself together. I tried to go about a normal day. I cleaned up the remaining dishes and put away the leftover cinnamon rolls. I kept myself busy with housework, even scrubbing the floors on my hands and knees. But I was foolish to think housework would be enough to pry my mind away from the constant thoughts that plagued it.

  The day crawled by. Every moment was a symphony of aches and pains, in my stomach, my head, my heart… even the bones within me ached horribly.

  As the sun began to sink behind the trees, I made myself a cup of tea and lit a fire in the fireplace. I settled down on the couch with my tea and my Kindle and pulled up my book list. This was the worst thing I could have done, because I was greeted by dozens of covers featuring handsome wolves. They were taunting me, as they always had before.

  You’ll never have this! They screamed it at me, laughing. I switched off my Kindle and tossed it across the room.

  It was true. I would never have it. This was all just some cruel joke. I couldn’t escape the pain even by running away to a cabin in the middle of the mountains.

  My stomach began to grumble, but I chose to ignore it. I hadn’t eaten since the cinnamon roll that morning, but I just couldn’t bring myself to eat. I was blaming my weight for what was happening. After all, it was the reason why my mother and I no longer spoke and were never close. It was the reason all my exes had cheated on me or dumped me. It was the reason I had very little self-confidence. If I could have cut it off my body, I would have.

  Instead, I just swallowed my misery by dissolving into a fit of tears on the couch. As the fire crackled and popped on the hearth, I released all of my pain in a torrent of tears and sobs, curling into the fetal position and wrapping my arms around myself.

  I felt a sudden gust of wind, and I sat up quickly.

  “You really should lock your door,” he said.

  Then he noticed my red eyes and my wet cheeks, and the color drained from his face. His brow furrowed, and he gawked at me in confusion.

  “What do you want?” I asked him, a bit more harshly than I intended to. r />
  “Dora, what’s going on?” he asked, easing around the corner of the sofa and slowly sitting down at the end.

  “Why did you leave so suddenly earlier?” I demanded. “Did I do something wrong?”